Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
