Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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