I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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