Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
