Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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