I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
