He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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