Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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