Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
