whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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