He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Couch. On fire.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
