Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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