the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Found your dick twin last night
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
be right there i have to get my cape
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
