he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
