Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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