We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
