i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
