whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
