can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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