found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
