good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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