You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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