Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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