can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize