Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
