I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
