just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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