i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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