Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
