uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
