playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize