i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
