Plan B is the new Plan A
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
