The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
