Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
