I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
