Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
