ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I am full of burrito and curiosity
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize