Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
