Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
