You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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