The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
