so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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