U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize