Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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