I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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