dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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