I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
