I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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