does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
