Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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