Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
