Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
