well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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