No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
mondays should just be called national damage control day
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
