He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize