We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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