Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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