Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
