i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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