she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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