so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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