Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
