But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
